tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774929547426221782024-03-05T09:52:05.839-06:00Keep WarmKeep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.comBlogger817125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-9312882696892363802016-05-27T17:58:00.001-06:002016-05-27T18:06:17.739-06:00VoicelessI lost my voice last weekend. I woke up and it was gone. It was an extraordinary effort just to make a squeak. You just take some things for granted, don't you? The ability to make yourself understood. The glorious feeling of being heard. <div>I discovered how isolating it was to understand everything but not to be able to contribute to the conversation. Maybe that's what people in comas feel like. Or maybe babies in utero. Although we must sound like adults in Charlie Brown. Waawaa waa. </div><div><br></div><div>Turns out that I talk a lot of shit. A lot of nonsense that no one really needs to hear. That certainly isn't worth repeating </div><div>12 times, I can tell you that for nothing. </div><div><br></div><div>My voice is coming back. I wonder why it left (the combination of typos and autocorrect meant that that came out as I love beer!). I felt fine physically so maybe it was psychosomatic? Maybe there was something that I wasn't supposed to talk about, maybe it was something that I needed to talk about but was stifling myself. Hmmm. </div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQkt1GFXRS-1tmkrEJU8IpT7sjOTgl-lPC-7E4RVfZMyzH-gwRee4C6nOAsIBuq-nclefui7YyW7xF0dhUO9-QVEChNutcxss7LrBLgYH2mywfVKSt10-M-zsFhP80r4hxM0JoRR2GL3xC/s640/blogger-image-1420181652.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQkt1GFXRS-1tmkrEJU8IpT7sjOTgl-lPC-7E4RVfZMyzH-gwRee4C6nOAsIBuq-nclefui7YyW7xF0dhUO9-QVEChNutcxss7LrBLgYH2mywfVKSt10-M-zsFhP80r4hxM0JoRR2GL3xC/s640/blogger-image-1420181652.jpg"></a></div>Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-16716203577134816652016-04-11T15:34:00.001-06:002016-04-11T15:34:50.040-06:0061<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Today is April 11. Mom's birthday. It would have been her 61. If she was still alive it would still be so very young. I'm feeling better. I'm upset that am feeling better. Like that makes it ok somehow and it's never going to be ok. I want to dedicate benches and put up posters and photos and stories. I want to shoot fireworks into the sky that coalesce into her face. Just so we know that she was here and she was real and she was important and she was loved. Just so no one forgets her. I just want everyone to remember her and recognize that the world is not as beautiful and kind without her. I want people to say her name. Sheree. Sheree. Sheree was here and she mattered and now she's not and that matters too.<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijkvESw_TxsygCrBB71lynvVJbjJBVutcNM6xIP_TJIplK5ZCoq8cm1ZwB9tUdF9-nM9i_Owhqta9kfFzUcCPvCTAyGhONNeiAucsc9pcUzwY42SlRsckN4c87A39rVGskYiysDOiUkFHQ/s640/blogger-image-1318432416.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijkvESw_TxsygCrBB71lynvVJbjJBVutcNM6xIP_TJIplK5ZCoq8cm1ZwB9tUdF9-nM9i_Owhqta9kfFzUcCPvCTAyGhONNeiAucsc9pcUzwY42SlRsckN4c87A39rVGskYiysDOiUkFHQ/s640/blogger-image-1318432416.jpg"></a></div></span>Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-41732834424507385222016-01-15T09:01:00.002-06:002016-01-15T09:01:41.935-06:00That which shall not be namedI love words. They have power, they let us play with communication. A full vocabulary allows you to be specific and descriptive. But words can also allow for cover ups, for dancing around the issue.<br />
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So. Let's talk about euphemisms.<br />
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They're a way of talk about something uncomfortable a bit more gently.<br />
Euphemisms are substitution of an inoffensive word or phrase for something generally considered offensive or insensitively explicit.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #191919; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23px;"> </span>It's good talk, it's literally the opposite of blaspheme, evil talk.<br />
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doing it, hook up, sleep with - have sex<br />
expecting, knocked up - pregnant<br />
full figured, big boned - fat<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaJKpt_dMU-Rg4WhUG_wNkQPpduQOaxj6tP05OGN5TCMrEl3u-cp2zGdW-_zXQwH0ocLRghH6V_Gr4Yw48_kR15dHje_Va33aNeEMl_9YDBz846GyN2oaCwizTm9i6tx6ylfrwxI7adWpS/s640/blogger-image--195145913.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaJKpt_dMU-Rg4WhUG_wNkQPpduQOaxj6tP05OGN5TCMrEl3u-cp2zGdW-_zXQwH0ocLRghH6V_Gr4Yw48_kR15dHje_Va33aNeEMl_9YDBz846GyN2oaCwizTm9i6tx6ylfrwxI7adWpS/s640/blogger-image--195145913.jpg" /></a></div>
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What about death?<br />
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Kick the bucket, buy the farm, at rest, give up the ghost, six feet under. These are rather silly ones and there are a million others.<br />
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But the one I don't like, really don't like, is passed away.<br />
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I hate that people say my mom passed away. I hate that my mother in law passed on. I hate it. I hate that in order to make the horrible truth that we are half-orphans palatable we have to say something more gentle and kinder.<br />
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Our moms didn't pass away. They fucking died. They died. And that's that.<br />
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No amount of soft talk makes that better or gentler or OK. I want to shock people with the shocking words of "died" and "dead" because you know what? It is shocking. It's still shocking a year later. It's shocking to me and I want other people to be startled by the unkindness of that word. It's hard and harsh and real. And it's true.<br />
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I'm sorry that the word died makes people uncomfortable but, that's the way the world is. It's uncomfortable when your mom dies. So your faint-heartedness can suck it.<br />
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#angerball<br />
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-53618195641245562912016-01-03T23:03:00.001-06:002016-01-03T23:03:05.341-06:00New Year - the cliche'd postAt this time of year the internet is full of year in review posts. Of looking back on the best and looking forward to the new year. I'd like to join in. I remember when I was on the top of my blogging game, back when people read blogs, back when this corner of the internet was full of people just like me, sharing their clothes and their lives (where did everyone go? To have babies, I suspect) and I did a 4 part series of the past year. Of all the exciting things that happened to me and my people. I miss that girl who wrote that. I miss a lot of things.<br />
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2015. The year of grief. Of all consuming grief, of the missing, the ache that was constant in my mind and in my heart. I miss my mamabear so very much. I fear forgetting what she smelled like and what she sounded like and what her laugh was like and what her love was like.<br />
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2015. The year of death. Of losing my mother in law. Of losing this strong vital woman (who I told was terrifying, when I meant to tell her she was strong). Of another family tree losing its leaves, losing its roots. This was a year of sitting in the same room in palliative care that I sat in 5 months before. Of sitting in the same lounge chair in the same hospice room watch another woman die of a sneaky disease that the same doctor couldn't fix. This was the year that her face lit up the room when I walked into it. And feeling blessed that I got to be part of this family, part of this love, part of this loss.<br />
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2015. <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/2_pmmdxUsF/?taken-by=daniellabella24">The year of home</a>. My love and I bought our first home together. We walked in and didn't ever want to leave. And then when we finally moved in I cried and cried because our moms would never know this place that is our home, that we feel safe and loved in. This home that is full of coziness and love and, yes, still loss.<br />
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2015. <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/4vxZPqxUl9/?taken-by=daniellabella24">The year of love</a>. My sister got married to her person. I got be be there to witness their love and their life and their committment. And all the laughter and all the tears that come from getting married without your mom. The jealousy that I have about other friends who get to have their moms there.<br />
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2015. The year of hope. The year my niece was born, just barely. The first baby in our family. The first wee one that we all love so very much already. I've never held a baby that was less than 24 hours old. I've never loved someone so much that was so tiny.<br />
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So I guess that was it. That was the year. It felt so heavy and so long and so short. Oh and I guess I got a new job too. But that seems so minor. That seems not not even matter anymore. I could be a barista and make gorgeous coffees and make people's day more positive or I could be a mid-level manager in government or I could be a super-spy or I could be a potter or I could write the great Canadian novel. I feel like I have equal amounts of aptitude for any of those. I hope I'll get to know more about my job and learn how to make it mine and how to make positive changes and how to be engaged in making a better world. But for tonight. I hope that the people I love are warm and cozy and know that they are loved.<br />
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And as for 2016? I honestly just hope that no one dies. Sad? Maybe. True? Terrifyingly.<br />
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-86315793743297940512015-11-10T22:14:00.003-06:002015-11-10T22:14:54.058-06:00One yearDear friends and family,<br />
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I'm sorry about who I've been this last year. I know I've not been myself, but I'm not sure that person exists anymore. I'm sorry that I'm distracted and selfish. I'm sorry that I can't remember anything. I'm sorry that I just don't care that much about anything. I'm sorry that I'm overwhelmed and exhausted all the time. My exhaustion is exhausting, even for me. I'm sorry that I feel like I need to opt out of everything and guilty that I let you down when I do opt out.<br />
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My heart broke a year ago when I lost my mom, my best friend. It broke again when I lost my mother-in-law 5 months later in the same way, in the same room. This year has gone by in a blur and I don't really remember it. All I know is that everything is too heavy and social commitments seem like a lot. Everything seems like a lot. Even putting away my clean socks. And yet I'm so so busy. Maybe to distract myself from the fact that everything is more grey now and the life we signed up for is gone, different.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1-pVg3MZXtqziW4aBAHNEn4dL966ZmQK5eYcl33QgZmjl07o7uBULL9Y5IhefqYKkg4m4TxjWby3fEbYeZ49uSuha2j-RTrs0fBXYFVdp25vIMGdz_zGOIhJTAK4mixkwX9SoaumgDU9Z/s1600/IMG_1217.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1-pVg3MZXtqziW4aBAHNEn4dL966ZmQK5eYcl33QgZmjl07o7uBULL9Y5IhefqYKkg4m4TxjWby3fEbYeZ49uSuha2j-RTrs0fBXYFVdp25vIMGdz_zGOIhJTAK4mixkwX9SoaumgDU9Z/s640/IMG_1217.jpeg" width="640" /></a><br />
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A year has gone by. A year. I live in a different place. My sister has a new last name. But the weight of loss feels just as new. Just like yesterday and just like I've been carrying it for a hundred years. I'm a hundred years old, you just can't tell because it's on the inside where the hole that is mom-shaped lives.<br />
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Someone said to me when are you going to get over this prolonged grief response? I told them to fuck off, but only in my head. I told them that I will never get over this because she's never coming back. That I don't know how to situate myself in the world when I don't know where I belong anymore. How do I believe in myself when the person who believed that I could do or be anything is gone? How to I go about in the world acting normal when nothing is? When we've lost just the best person and all the traditions that she held for us. And all the littlest things that made us know that she was thinking of us and that she loved us. Who do I tell my day to day happenings to? They are little and pointless and only a mother would care. So I don't tell anyone, not even myself and that's how this year has passed and gone, my memory with it.<br />
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A year spent in a fog, with a heart that is crushed to pieces with a smile on my face because no one wants to hear it. They go to a funeral and then they go home. And we just go back with each other, each day feeling more panicked that today is the longest that we've ever gone without speaking to her.That today is another day and we don't know where to go.<br />
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Autumn is always been a dreadfully sad time. And now, I guess, it's for a reason that this season feels like.<br />
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Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-52850597409595935132015-11-10T06:00:00.000-06:002015-11-10T06:00:10.141-06:00FluffIt's pitch dark at 6:30pm now.<br />
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In order to battle winter I'm wearing sumer dresses. I'ma discombobulate you, winter.<br />
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cardigan: Ricki's</div>
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dress: Ricki's</div>
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tights: We Love Colours</div>
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boots: Bed Stu</div>
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It snowed for 30 seconds today. Pow. </div>
<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-92099265605310297272015-11-06T06:00:00.000-06:002015-11-06T06:00:08.415-06:00A spoonful of sugarHalloween. The time when adults can act like children and promiscuous dress is the norm. Generally I love it. But this year I didn't have the energy to do much at all.<br />
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umbrella: part of the clear out of the store that the Gentleman Caller did for my sister's wedding day</div>
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bow tie: watch strap</div>
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top: Gentleman Caller's</div>
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teapot broach: Value Village</div>
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belt: Le Chateau</div>
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skirt: Forever 21</div>
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tights: Ricki's</div>
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hat: ?? 10 years ago</div>
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shoes: Spring</div>
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At work we had a Monster Mash Bash and I came up with Mary Poppins at 7am out of things I had hanging around the house. A free costume is a great costume.<br />
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However, the game was up when I met another Mary who had a baby chimney sweep as an accessory. Fair play, Mary!<br />
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For Halloween night we decided to forgo the 4 parties that were going on to hang out at home to hand out candy and watch Hocus Pocus. Brilliant plan.<br />
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Except, of course, for the fact that we had 4 Halloweeners. And that's only if you count a 3 month old baby, a father-in-law, and 2 friends who heard I had wine. Turns out my new neighbourhood has a severe shortage of children who want to venture down a dark, one sided, dead end street. Weird, that.<br />
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-59956090351342515512015-10-30T06:00:00.000-06:002015-10-30T06:00:03.422-06:00Keep tryingToday it felt like -5 degrees. Winter is on the way.<br />
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Today was a cruddy day in a litany of cruddy days.<br />
Do you ever feel like you can't do anything right and never mind that but your in the midst of an ugly phase as well?<br />
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Le Ugh.<br />
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jacket: Old Navy</div>
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sweater: Forever 21</div>
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pants: Old Navy</div>
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necklace: it was my mom's</div>
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shoes: Atmosphere</div>
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-9655373750040691412015-10-28T07:00:00.000-06:002015-10-28T07:00:05.568-06:00I dream of tutus all day longThe Gentleman Caller and I went to a wedding recently. It's a good excuse to get dressed up all fancy-like with bow-ties and tutus. All to celebrate love.<br />
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And having the chance to dance a jig in these shoes!Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-10453142099755239762015-10-26T06:00:00.000-06:002015-10-26T06:00:01.074-06:00It all comes out in the wash.A local shoe store was having a Fly London day. I just had to pop by to see what was up.<br />
And then I bought shoes that were on sale but still far more than I should have been spending.<br />
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jacket: Old Navy</div>
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scarf: my mom's</div>
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top: Value Village</div>
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pants: Forever 21</div>
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shoes: Fly London</div>
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So I paired them with my thrifted sparkle top and thought the the cost of the whole outfit evened out.<br />
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-38374824041615120582015-10-21T05:30:00.000-06:002015-10-21T05:30:01.141-06:00Consequences of ForgetfulnessShortly after moving into our home I had friends over. After they left and all the BBQ fixings and Sangria was put away I realized that one of them had left her cardigan.<br />
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I put it away until I would see her again. But it kept winking at me from the corner. So I wore it to work. It was so soft and cozy and such a lovely colour. So I wore it again.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi00bvFzY880DDJThHwbuPJ58mZM7kX3hu6f8g8n1HnUpdTjUnfEHiusk2xIxnhViDLVBptoGfaUGTa4MQeKDL8jns3RLCkDyefe111v6kgD28RJYlVKz61l-1qN08X3ixeXtYZxNiYrRLB/s1600/IMG_8023.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi00bvFzY880DDJThHwbuPJ58mZM7kX3hu6f8g8n1HnUpdTjUnfEHiusk2xIxnhViDLVBptoGfaUGTa4MQeKDL8jns3RLCkDyefe111v6kgD28RJYlVKz61l-1qN08X3ixeXtYZxNiYrRLB/s640/IMG_8023.jpg" width="382" /></a></div>
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cardi: accidental gift</div>
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scarf: Ricki's</div>
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top: Smart Set</div>
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pants: Forever 21</div>
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shoes: Red or Dead</div>
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Finally two months later I had the chance to give the cardi back and she said that it was a very me sweater and that it should be mine!<br />
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What an utter delight and I think of her whenever I wear it (which is often because it's awesome. Obvs.)<br />
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-49490086805134536152015-10-18T17:42:00.001-06:002015-10-18T17:42:34.917-06:00She's a ladyLong ago I bought a frilly dress...<br />
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It was always a bit short but I powered through. Now though? Far too short for a public servant and/or woman of my advancing age.<br />
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cardi: Ricki's</div>
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top: dress from H&M</div>
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pants: Forever 21</div>
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boots: Bed Stu</div>
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So now it's a top.<br />
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See? Hoarding can be a good thing when things have multiple uses.<br />
<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-85051204330527731112015-08-03T06:00:00.000-06:002015-08-03T06:00:04.570-06:00Aztec<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
I needed an outfit for my sister's stagette. An 80s outfit. </div>
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So I took a friend to Value Village for support as I don't have thrifting skills or much patience without backup.</div>
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cardi: Value Village</div>
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top: Suzy Shier</div>
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jeans: Forever 21</div>
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shoes: Fly London</div>
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necklace: small shop in England</div>
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bracelet: gift from my Uncle</div>
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Today I'm thankful for trying something new. </div>
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Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-81878270659809831622015-07-31T06:00:00.000-06:002015-07-31T06:00:07.397-06:00SwishI found this dress in my mom's closet. It's one of the only items of hers that I can fit into.<br />
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I like wearing it because I can imagine her wearing it.</div>
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jacket: Old Navy</div>
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dress: Ricki's</div>
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shoes: Spring</div>
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Today I'm thankful for things of hers. </div>
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Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-90713125710805169162015-07-28T21:47:00.001-06:002015-07-28T21:47:33.438-06:00Somewhere in the middleHaving a house of one's own means that you can take photos outside and not feel like the neighbourhood weirdo.<br />
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<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/may_2015/set?.embedder=1692261&.svc=copypaste&id=171017517" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="May 2015" border="0" src="http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/bbrScwt4Hdxk1Xzgi2aA/cid/171017517/id/OGGhLaM15RGr21bQXi33Qg/size/c600x777.jpg" height="400" title="May 2015" width="308" /></a></div>
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I also love that my garage is more of a shack. A so bad it's good shack.<br />
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top: Ricki's</div>
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pants: Old Navy</div>
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shoes: Aldo</div>
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Today I'm grateful for being able to sit in these sitting shoes. </div>
<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-8381004762492197452015-05-27T06:00:00.000-06:002015-05-27T06:00:07.025-06:00Goodbye apartmentThe Gentleman Caller and I have lived in this apartment for almost two years. And I<a href="http://keepwarm-daniellabella.blogspot.ca/2011/10/missing-things.html"> lived in the building before</a> we went to Australia. I love this apartment. The building was built in 1928, the ceilings are high, the windows large, the wooden floors and radiators perfect.<br />
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I get really nostalgic for places, even if I'm ready to move on. We lived here. We loved here. Our moms both knew this place. We're moving soon... by the time this posts, we will have moved.<br />
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But for now this is home...<br />
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-12222535298469197752015-05-26T06:00:00.000-06:002015-05-26T06:00:01.597-06:00Smoove mooveMaybe you're not meant to draw attention to your wobbly bits.<br />
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<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/april_14_2015/set?.embedder=1692261&.svc=copypaste&id=155703626" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="april 14 2015" border="0" src="http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/QOyvx80FlGlyYsyUD8uA/cid/155703626/id/DugFdSTj5BGMk8te7EzHKw/size/c600x542.jpg" height="361" title="april 14 2015" width="400" /></a></div>
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But then again these pants are the coolest.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3mRYxgheH9GUHi8RV9_0rRIYXk9CWhawNXgCsr9YULgPMn5sOl8yLmgQknMcHXMQ4tAvH9o5VCwNoilbTAjRIV1yDFkm5W1p3KMnvDgRIcsj2H6FzsUzwA9wzektivjDRgXSohMW9DDI2/s1600/IMG_7907.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3mRYxgheH9GUHi8RV9_0rRIYXk9CWhawNXgCsr9YULgPMn5sOl8yLmgQknMcHXMQ4tAvH9o5VCwNoilbTAjRIV1yDFkm5W1p3KMnvDgRIcsj2H6FzsUzwA9wzektivjDRgXSohMW9DDI2/s640/IMG_7907.jpg" width="304" /></a></div>
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jacket: Joe Fresh ($7!)</div>
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top: Suzy Shier</div>
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scarf: Ricki's</div>
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pants: Old Navy</div>
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shoes: Camper</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNTCQzBfrEXu-woP2-iVxG1toSSvl7XvS2Mnd8Vi17PPNpRgsqYNS8AMXvHK7lkDQ_8yrH4HbT0HZFck0qU-MFlgouY5Z6gqTDuZXMJCBnQNTBxtQw3dS2Oa6xMuSKIwa931w1qIbslm2T/s1600/IMG_7911.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNTCQzBfrEXu-woP2-iVxG1toSSvl7XvS2Mnd8Vi17PPNpRgsqYNS8AMXvHK7lkDQ_8yrH4HbT0HZFck0qU-MFlgouY5Z6gqTDuZXMJCBnQNTBxtQw3dS2Oa6xMuSKIwa931w1qIbslm2T/s400/IMG_7911.jpg" width="196" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY10p_lCxWkpJnRt-HvrZfKD5ASb10VoEBVbEj9I8GpA8S0Q7aGYM4arKDvq_fV-3h3VRzeEeAbLAEu2ms9UljQpvEw3MxXVNRxREk_8jVHWKQeVORM0pFIaVk0wxQV4VJ59BGwFVa0zND/s1600/IMG_7914.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY10p_lCxWkpJnRt-HvrZfKD5ASb10VoEBVbEj9I8GpA8S0Q7aGYM4arKDvq_fV-3h3VRzeEeAbLAEu2ms9UljQpvEw3MxXVNRxREk_8jVHWKQeVORM0pFIaVk0wxQV4VJ59BGwFVa0zND/s400/IMG_7914.jpg" width="197" /></a></div>
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-15380187835996706322015-05-25T06:00:00.000-06:002015-05-25T06:00:09.954-06:00Re-evaluatingI've never really enjoyed shopping at Old Navy because nothing is organize or put away neatly.<br />
I also take exception to having to stand in line to both try stuff on and to pay...<br />
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<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/mar_2015/set?.embedder=1692261&.svc=copypaste&id=155704052" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="mar 2015" border="0" src="http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/U8WSsK0iuFIBRw5SP15Yg/cid/155704052/id/YDKKqCXj5BGbW5qJ7EzHKw/size/c600x898.jpg" height="400" title="mar 2015" width="266" /></a></div>
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However, I have picked up a number of cute (so cute) things there lately so I'm rethinking my stance.<br />
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dress: Old Navy</div>
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cardi: Ricki's</div>
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tights: We Love Colours</div>
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scarf: gift from my mom, from Spain</div>
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boots: Jessica Simpson</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9H-l_GcNof1xCbyh0Mx4r7XopySlHTrj7gKqxzr-09PLQJdo8Ml514DXbEftC3jAcRnEcdPg9sOUO7v3IuqWyZ04gSoNvl4K850UZrCuVv4wStT7s-Ec6JidCNE9sxSHSPNEmzKBknEJY/s1600/IMG_7897.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9H-l_GcNof1xCbyh0Mx4r7XopySlHTrj7gKqxzr-09PLQJdo8Ml514DXbEftC3jAcRnEcdPg9sOUO7v3IuqWyZ04gSoNvl4K850UZrCuVv4wStT7s-Ec6JidCNE9sxSHSPNEmzKBknEJY/s400/IMG_7897.jpg" width="201" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwbwd2BsldRwDyJEjgsSlCivVheC3CgJ9fAEIaI1AWSN2W5Olr5gIcgzjeFu6dj-8klgU5iGf6HRraasxrnf8oHwDxYG8_WfkXoOSjn_PQZdQ-AiwUxyt4aVncQpM4eyowDXuwbP3XOlgG/s1600/IMG_7902.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwbwd2BsldRwDyJEjgsSlCivVheC3CgJ9fAEIaI1AWSN2W5Olr5gIcgzjeFu6dj-8klgU5iGf6HRraasxrnf8oHwDxYG8_WfkXoOSjn_PQZdQ-AiwUxyt4aVncQpM4eyowDXuwbP3XOlgG/s400/IMG_7902.jpg" width="198" /></a></div>
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-36012699952532731292015-05-22T06:00:00.000-06:002015-05-22T06:00:01.502-06:00Glitter and goldSmart Set closed. I don't love shopping online but I don't see much other choice.<br />
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<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/dec_2014/set?.embedder=1692261&.svc=copypaste&id=148189205" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="1 Dec 2014" border="0" src="http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/X3tSR6T0mOsx71fNwPD2g/cid/148189205/id/iKfU5AKr5BGP0aG2GhGRpA/size/c600x887.jpg" height="400" title="1 Dec 2014" width="270" /></a></div>
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Take this sweater. It's cute but I'm not sure I would have gone to the trouble of ordering it. I accidentally swerved in to the store and it was mine. Maybe this will help me save money?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtrdwRxMOvqp1_6V3BZrZ8B-H_e0zwyb6lz0poPTXfqW1G8P-gEElSkIXbiKfErYj4PzKQ-gnyQKq_ztS31t1KoIGHhFdvHle-srw851m4aKxqdtegTO9dDH_E7tC0bThtg-jG4wmEMMp0/s1600/IMG_7794.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtrdwRxMOvqp1_6V3BZrZ8B-H_e0zwyb6lz0poPTXfqW1G8P-gEElSkIXbiKfErYj4PzKQ-gnyQKq_ztS31t1KoIGHhFdvHle-srw851m4aKxqdtegTO9dDH_E7tC0bThtg-jG4wmEMMp0/s640/IMG_7794.jpg" width="308" /></a></div>
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sweater: Smart Set</div>
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skirt: Ricki's circa 2005</div>
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tights: We Love Colours</div>
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boots: Jessica Simpson</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxBwyXt-t0yjD2nSRosGU_fonr6VfYFpaK1VDMqSV6Z-Da_36C-KldIeWSKrdQ8sI7IBUCZu3QbarOVQMNnTR5y0mrBFEa6nnisge7tPifBKn5PXW0YibfLtyIL88ri1-FExxknN-LNGud/s1600/IMG_7796.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxBwyXt-t0yjD2nSRosGU_fonr6VfYFpaK1VDMqSV6Z-Da_36C-KldIeWSKrdQ8sI7IBUCZu3QbarOVQMNnTR5y0mrBFEa6nnisge7tPifBKn5PXW0YibfLtyIL88ri1-FExxknN-LNGud/s400/IMG_7796.jpg" width="197" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFVuQXNfgU6k-zhpAY2G8v8lK9KNkGy4P_my1GZb3oH2t11nYe-xJITv7RrldxNci7nQObt9qvPU3G0LWgyOziT-EsMHiGEAdwwAjneT2-SD8ie2qeQ_JVGX3tc455F1XP6Tmltzcm-EJn/s1600/IMG_7797.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFVuQXNfgU6k-zhpAY2G8v8lK9KNkGy4P_my1GZb3oH2t11nYe-xJITv7RrldxNci7nQObt9qvPU3G0LWgyOziT-EsMHiGEAdwwAjneT2-SD8ie2qeQ_JVGX3tc455F1XP6Tmltzcm-EJn/s400/IMG_7797.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-32693812742704225252015-05-21T06:00:00.000-06:002015-05-21T06:00:06.321-06:00Kiwi momentsMy lovely friend Laura sent this hairscarf all the way from New Zealand.<br />
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<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/feb_2015/set?.embedder=1692261&.svc=copypaste&id=158729038" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Feb 2015 1" border="0" src="http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/NXG9tF02FWTD4gMa6tk2Q/cid/158729038/id/NAXaNIX75BGzQgJRnCklpg/size/c600x941.jpg" height="400" title="Feb 2015 1" width="255" /></a></div>
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She's a pretty amazing gal. I'm so lucky that when the Gentleman Caller and I were travelling through her city she put us up for a week and showed us around! I hadn't seen her in 7 years and she's still as wonderful as always!<br />
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everything: Ricki's</div>
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boots: Jessica Simpson</div>
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I would go back to New Zealand in an instant. Any one have a job for me?</div>
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-31008668750221967312015-05-20T06:00:00.000-06:002015-05-20T06:00:05.242-06:00Chalk stripeI bought a bunch of clothes online at Christmas, fully intending to take the majority of them back.<br />
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Turns out I just didn't. Even though some of the stuff was just ok. Even though you can return to the store. Even though the store is down the block.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiATpUA3GFzKc8WCWRCsge28dacyiOWw1lBi3iJyr_fQqw_CtwThUppoLaRs0Hd55jfbfhzZ1_m9imxlTZDB4ltbDjK14xJHVwx-8A0Jd34ZiR_SrsMLyeqjfqJ37hE1qnEk_seyIq6mlAf/s1600/IMG_7826.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiATpUA3GFzKc8WCWRCsge28dacyiOWw1lBi3iJyr_fQqw_CtwThUppoLaRs0Hd55jfbfhzZ1_m9imxlTZDB4ltbDjK14xJHVwx-8A0Jd34ZiR_SrsMLyeqjfqJ37hE1qnEk_seyIq6mlAf/s640/IMG_7826.jpg" width="262" /></a></div>
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dress: Ricki's</div>
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jacket: Ricki's</div>
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tights: We Love Colours</div>
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boots: Jessica Simpson</div>
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So here we are. Looking so fine. </div>
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-30138219895398452842015-05-19T06:00:00.000-06:002015-05-19T06:00:11.925-06:00Just a wee bit concussedIn January I had a small mishap.<br />
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<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/jan_2015/set?.embedder=1692261&.svc=copypaste&id=158726697" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Jan 2015 2" border="0" src="http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/uSkOfGgNwzVuQ4iWixZcxg/cid/158726697/id/1EZHhYH75BGVx1dr6ODk1w/size/c600x675.jpg" height="400" title="Jan 2015 2" width="355" /></a></div>
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I fell and hit my head in a ringette game and it wasn't great. As I'm an idiot, I continued to play a few more games. Turns out I had a pretty serious concussion. I was in a fair amount of pain in these photos.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4x2zKxxx_8B30Gn9iAP3-G-fiAuKoWPMV9PySShTgcj8Lrk0zEnFSQ0wYn3bWiEV74Aqb1NdhgW32oGOcNIlW8MELpP2FK6jtjipdSLIQhjt6vBW3fzoEVhOULHVS73HayApk7djTdij7/s1600/IMG_7812.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4x2zKxxx_8B30Gn9iAP3-G-fiAuKoWPMV9PySShTgcj8Lrk0zEnFSQ0wYn3bWiEV74Aqb1NdhgW32oGOcNIlW8MELpP2FK6jtjipdSLIQhjt6vBW3fzoEVhOULHVS73HayApk7djTdij7/s640/IMG_7812.jpg" width="314" /></a></div>
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sweater: Ricki's</div>
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leggings: Lulu Lemon</div>
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socks: ?</div>
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boots: Jessica Simpson</div>
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After a week of blinding headaches and confusion I ended up in the ER. Not good. I was on brain rest for a few days which means no TV, computer, reading, music, or thinking.<br />
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Turns out that you can't just sleep for four days straight no matter how grief-exhausted you are.Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-34084199601269904742015-05-18T06:00:00.000-06:002015-05-18T06:00:04.562-06:00unbreakableI keep hearing that leopard print is actually a neutral.<br />
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<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/jan_2015/set?.embedder=1692261&.svc=copypaste&id=158725208" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="jan 2015 1" border="0" src="http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/ss6d7tToZfhc2PJdbnzlQ/cid/158725208/id/qkobPn-75BGxtg-8tfvecw/size/c600x898.jpg" height="400" title="jan 2015 1" width="266" /></a></div>
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Plus I needed an excuse to wear my brown boots.</div>
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dress: Ricki's</div>
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tights: We Love Colours</div>
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cardi: Smart Set</div>
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boots: Jessica Simpson</div>
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<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-90225343829214148462015-05-06T22:32:00.001-06:002015-05-06T22:32:33.640-06:00Same same but different: the loss editionLately things are all deja vu around here.<br />
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I feel like I've spent my whole life in the same chair, in the same room watching someone I love spend their last days from the same disease that the same doctor couldn't cure.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr211ds2AOdyT_KEHxsVyTwfGVcJsqM7B26Z36N714os36mz4Nfg2xhyUVQSHGoLsRrGrYFaUowuMBX8rBC3cJc0Z2AKCPCeki31pCkXW7lcn5Y0MYroQPuo4H8M4P9mqKr1TI_DzDufWR/s640/blogger-image--676562179.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr211ds2AOdyT_KEHxsVyTwfGVcJsqM7B26Z36N714os36mz4Nfg2xhyUVQSHGoLsRrGrYFaUowuMBX8rBC3cJc0Z2AKCPCeki31pCkXW7lcn5Y0MYroQPuo4H8M4P9mqKr1TI_DzDufWR/s640/blogger-image--676562179.jpg" /></a></div>
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My partner's mom died a few weeks ago. She had a smile that could light up a room. I loved her. 51 is far, far too young.<br />
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It all feels so heavy. Too much similarity between our moms. Well, that's not exactly true. They were very different people in equally wonderful ways. But their death events? Same, same but different.<br />
I'm the family <a href="http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/leaderpost/obituary.aspx?pid=174745010">obituary writer </a>now.<br />
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We're all going to be very gentle with ourselves. At least we're going to try.<br />
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All these mother's day adverts can suck it. I hate the thought that we have no one to by for this year. No one to honour in the same way. I'm still very undecided if I'm going to mother's day celebrations with the rest of my family. I just don't know anything anymore.<br />
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And please let there be good news soon.Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877492954742622178.post-92021665756771072792015-04-11T06:00:00.000-06:002015-04-11T06:00:03.995-06:00A love like thisToday, April 11th, is my mom's birthday. She would have been 60. That's a pretty big birthday. In its place is a very big grief.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6RrGDHOoZMKN75Upu75rqWhrkX0KPGSa8XfLI3OErEtaBINcchWfknYoQhSpHeKoQE_DXMCGn44lZbWZ4YomEYuuxtaFvhw7WuZVmnWD_Nut_C7aRhFEpCEcgjAtu70jN7_Ak0oa9U-Xm/s640/blogger-image--85820487.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6RrGDHOoZMKN75Upu75rqWhrkX0KPGSa8XfLI3OErEtaBINcchWfknYoQhSpHeKoQE_DXMCGn44lZbWZ4YomEYuuxtaFvhw7WuZVmnWD_Nut_C7aRhFEpCEcgjAtu70jN7_Ak0oa9U-Xm/s400/blogger-image--85820487.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spending time together in the airport before I went to Australia</td></tr>
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Today is also 5 months since she's been gone. The days go by and sometimes they are even ok. But everything is muted, songs a bit quieter, colours a bit greyer. And not a day goes by that I don't just wish I could give her a hug and I miss and I miss and I am missing.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK4bvpjNIfiwAtuiRtAe4yekIYBzZzDZ6MEZh7v50KsOPa_oX5AlF03gw3ieR1jzTGRiCnJUvCgdeVn8HBzNisop5W2xOdZcHc_7P7j1emd_os3N9f5-bbea5kiRuPV2COYHix5PXKQfLv/s640/blogger-image--2007281289.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK4bvpjNIfiwAtuiRtAe4yekIYBzZzDZ6MEZh7v50KsOPa_oX5AlF03gw3ieR1jzTGRiCnJUvCgdeVn8HBzNisop5W2xOdZcHc_7P7j1emd_os3N9f5-bbea5kiRuPV2COYHix5PXKQfLv/s400/blogger-image--2007281289.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Memorial butterfly in the Palliative Care ward of the hospital</td></tr>
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Sometimes when everything is out of control and nothing makes sense, you feel like you just need to do something, anything... even if it's small.<br />
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In that light, my family and I are participating in the <a href="http://ccssk.convio.net/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_15?fr_id=1920&pg=entry">Relay for Life</a>. This is when we walk all night long, from 7pm to 7am. This small journey represents the intense journey those battling cancer go through. We raise money, we celebrate survivors, we support those fighting, we remember those we've lost.<br />
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<a href="http://ccssk.convio.net/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_15?px=1817009&pg=personal&fr_id=1920">If you have $5 that you can spare</a>, my team, me and everyone who has been touched by this hideous and prevalent disease (even <a href="http://taylorswift.tumblr.com/post/115942142045/just-so-you-know">Taylor Swift's mom</a>) would be so appreciative. If you aren't able to donate maybe you could give blood or give your people a hug so big that they know just how much you love them. The world needs a bit more love.<br />
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Because, in the end, love is all there is.<br />
<br />Keep Warm (Danielle)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15078416755203384490noreply@blogger.com0