Monday, August 18, 2014

Sending out so much love

I haven't been writing because I don't know what to write. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I find making even small, inconsequential decisions almost impossible.

What do you do when the person who means everything is literally fighting for her life? How do you help? What can you do? Other than giving lots of hugs and holding hands and making food and brushing hair... Really, though. What do you do? What can you do that will make a difference or help at all? I guess you can pray and visualize cancer melting away, hoping and praying and working on being positive. The thing is I wish I could give my strength away. I wish that all the protein that I eat could be magically transferred to her. I'd take it on. I think we all would.

What does daily life look like when you're mind is occupied with fear? What is the point of dressing up cute? Does anything even matter, other than love?

                                   
                          I don't know what this graffiti is about. I like that it's emphatic. And also Fuck Cancer. 































Is there a how to manual? Does anyone have any insight on balancing hope and reality, fear and love, day to day life with everything else? I know this isn't unique. I know it's not just us going though this. But it also feels so so big.

Love and bright light to everyone. So much love. 


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4 comments:

Shybiker said...

I'm sorry, Danielle. Really sorry.

This is a hard and terrible thing to go through. All you can do is be present and cherish the time you have left with her.

Best wishes.

outoftheshadowlands said...

I've been checking in on your blog regularly. Thinking of you and whatever it is that's happening. No advice, just good thoughts and prayers that there will be peace and joy even when it's hard.

LyddieGal said...

I am so sorry you and a loved one have to go through this. You are right that love matters, first, and above all else. I hope you get to spend as much time as you possibly can loving, and being loved.

I think the reason we dress cute is because no matter what kinds of shit is going on in our lives, we still have to face the world, and we will be damned if the world sees us at anything less than our best, even when we are feeling our worst.

geetabix said...

Fuck cancer. So sorry to hear such tough news.