Facebook status updates when I didn't have internets

If I had any internet connection during the roadtrip this is what I would have said:

"Today I wore my underwear into the the shower. Accidentally"

"Today I saw 20 kangaroos and a dingo"

"Today I ate like a bachelor"

"Today I wasn't eaten by a crocodile. Yet."

"Today I sat in a waterfall"

"Today I saw a spider as big as my toe"

"Who ever said that you can't climb a mountain in fancy Crocs?"

"The Outback: Where outrageous prices are a way of life"