Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Same same but different: the loss edition

Lately things are all deja vu around here.

I feel like I've spent my whole life in the same chair, in the same room watching someone I love spend their last days from the same disease that the same doctor couldn't cure.


My partner's mom died a few weeks ago. She had a smile that could light up a room. I loved her. 51 is far, far too young.

It all feels so heavy. Too much similarity between our moms. Well, that's not exactly true. They were very different people in equally wonderful ways. But their death events? Same, same but different.
I'm the family obituary writer now.

We're all going to be very gentle with ourselves. At least we're going to try.

All these mother's day adverts can suck it. I hate the thought that we have no one to by for this year. No one to honour in the same way. I'm still very undecided if I'm going to mother's day celebrations with the rest of my family. I just don't know anything anymore.


And please let there be good news soon.
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1 comment:

Cara said...

It has been a terribly tough year for your family. I can't even fathom the pain you have been through. Every memory you share of these wonderful women makes me hug my daughter a little bit tighter, and a little bit longer. I hope some day to be half as amazing to her as these women have been to you. I hope you can celebrate these women this Mother's day, even if it's through tears.