Monday, June 30, 2014

Sometimes there are days when time stops. When you heart catches in your throat and you stomach clenches and you go cold. These are days when everything you know changes. The world is a different place and it's not ever going back. That my kitchen is dirty, my laundry isn't done doesn't matter. All my little worries about who I am and where I'm going and how I'm going to lose my sugar belly are inconsequential.

It's been raining for weeks. The streets are flooded, the sky is angry and there isn't anywhere for the water to go. At the moment it's pathetic fallacy, the never-ending onslaught of water and gloominess that goes along with it are exactly how my family feels. I guess it just wouldn't be right to get terrible news on a bright, sunshiney day.

I'm so angry. I'm so angry that cancer is such a bitch and has come for us. I'm so angry that it wasn't caught before. I'm so angry that word was thrown at her like a grenade by a non-expert and then we were put in a room to wait for a specialist that never came. I'm so angry that there's nothing I can do except call people to make sure they are moving on this, to get a bossy advocate, to ask everyone I know to send the good energy of whatever belief they have to her. Until then I'll just flood the streets more with my tears.



Even the duck is confused and thinks a lawn is a pond.
                                 

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2 comments:

Mrs. Hosie said...

I hear ya honey. And I'm so sorry this is happening.

Allison said...

I know the feeling all too well. So sorry that you are going through this right now.