Clothes Conundrum

When I first arrived in Australia I knew that I had packed completely wrong. I think I was trying for practical when I actually just brought things that I didn't like, didn't look good in, didn't feel good in and  had tiny holes from a crappy washing machine. 

In moving on from being settled and having a closet to lugging my backpack with me every couple of days, I tried to make better choices. I had to balance being hot in Cairns, cold & rainy in Melbourne, hot in Sydney, freezing, windy and rainy in New Zealand and hot & humid again in Southeast Asia. Drawing things out so I can see them in front of me helps me make decisions. 

Anything with a tiny X over it means that I got rid of it. Some to second hand shops, some to the take it if you need it box in hostels, a few to friends. 

I still have far too many things. Everyday I contemplate tossing a cardigan or jacket since I'm not using them anyway. But then I remember that sometime I will be returning to Canada, where the temperature will probably be -30. So I've just come up with a system of swinging my bag up and over to get it on... and apologizing to all helpful bus drivers who have to lift it. 

***

This has nothing to do with anything but I'm sitting on a covered balcony in a small seaside town in Cambodia. As we were swimming we watched the clouds roll in. It has been pouring for hours. POURING! Intermittently the power goes out. The Khmer family that owns the guesthouse is having dinner beside me, the children running around and being super cute. Through the rain I can see hammocks swinging under an awning and beyond that, hazily, the sea. And when I look up and just be for a moment? Wow... this is pretty awesome. I never knew, never imagined that I would be here. Wearing my warmest cardigan that I keep wanting to toss... 

Today I am so thankful for toilet paper. It's not replaced daily by the guesthouses and that means that I have to ask for it. And maybe I use too much but I have a touchy gut... So I'm thankful that toilet paper exists at all and that sometimes a store will sell it and there is sort of a freedom in being able to use the bathroom any time that you may need. You know?