I hear you. I really hear you. We met up with a friend we hadn't seen in a while and it so painfully reminded us who we used to be. With everything we have on our plate now, we aren't sure how to be those people again. And I miss the old me.
I don't think you should mourn any loss of who you think you used to be. You are an amazing, creative, dynamic person. I laugh every time we hang out and I have a good time. I think that you are too hard on yourself. Fun spirit and a sense of adventure aren't binary, it's a spectrum and you are definitely on the fun side of centre.
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