Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Complimentarianism

This whole thing of not being able to find a job that I want to do has been getting me down. It's very lonely being at home all day by oneself. Couple the fact that I'm not sleeping well with lack of inspiration to get dressed properly has lead me to a slump, which I'm (hopefully mis-) labelling as an 'ugly stage' (I seem to go through one every 10 years or so). So in order to concentrate on lovely things to shake up me and maybe others who have been waiting too long for spring, today is compliments day!


Compliments are lovely aren't they? We all just love them. But the ones I love the most are the ones that are unexpected. Or come from somewhere I don't understand. It is these kind of compliments that make me think of myself in a different light. It points my idea of myself to look out a different window to see me and at different angle. And then I think "huh, the world is a pretty magical place".

Here's a couple that gave me pause because I never thought this way. These have really stuck with me through the years:

1. my mom's friend said that I have poise. I always thought that I was awkward and silly.

2. a regular customer at the pub I worked at said that I am a dark horse.  I guess I liked the idea that I'm more than what I seem and that someone would take the energy to see that.

3. a work mate said that I had the aura of "I am life!". It made me cry. Best compliment ever! I always thought that I was pretty invisible and would not garner much thought.

Your turn! What are your best / most surprising compliments?
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9 comments:

Cara said...

I definitely hear you about the staying-at-home blues. While I do have a project that I'm working on at home, it's so easy to wallow when there is no reason to go out and put on a bright face. I would have to say this year has been my most volatile year for my self-esteem. Each day that I give myself the time to really pull together an outfit, do my hair "just right," is followed by a day when I see no value in getting out of my pajamas. Hmm - maybe one of these days we'll have to go for coffee so we each have an excuse to make ourselves look and feel good!
I was told this last weekend that I approach things with a very mature, responsible and organized attitude that conveyed confidence and reliability. That will stick with me for a while!

Katie, Interrobangs Anonymous said...

Once after a test run of a big, scavenger hunt fundraiser, a coworker's daughter referred to me as the "sort of beautiful one." My dad tells me I'm like my mothers, which is as high a compliment as there is in his book, and an important person in my field once said I was "a born interpreter."

Now a compliment for you:
You have sass. A lot of people try to have sass, but it ends up being a fake wooden veneer of the real thing. You've got the real thing.

Allison said...

I can make my husband laugh - belly laugh - every day. Which isn't a direct compliment, but it feels like one.
And I agree with Katie - you have sass in the best kind of way :)

Amber Lena said...

I agree on the Sass! I was gonna tell you that I love your smile. Seriously, I look forward to it whenever I open up your blog.

For me, I think the best compliments that I get are about my inner beauty - like when someone says I'm a loyal friend.

Bella said...

I think my best compliment has been "This wasn't a party till you got here!" :) But that was ages ago. A recent compliment the Significant Other gave me was "It we could bottle how good you smell, I think we could make some good money." Hey, I'll take it! :)

laura said...

Oh Danielle, don't let it get you down! I do know how you feel though being lonely at home all by yourself. When I graduated from undergrad and moved to the Midwest, I spent three miserable weeks sulking.

I got a really sweet compliment today. My colleague told me that she thought I was an amazing scholarly writer. That really almost made me cry. It's nice to be appreciated for things that I put a lot of work and effort on. And you, my dear, are a sweetie! You have the most darling little posts and the sweetest smile!
hearts, laura♥
the blog of worldly delights

geetabix said...

You totally have sass!

But you have to get out of the house. I recommend hanging out at the public library - free, but you do have to get dressed.

FutureLint said...

I like that you are cheeky and honestly seem like a fun person to be around! Your voice on the blog is very honest and seriously think we would hang out IRL if we were closer geographically! My best friend has been out of work for close to nine months and I don't know how she does it. Applying for jobs, waiting, etc. it is really hard, so keep your chin up! Everything works out. It just does.

Terri said...

Always remember that we are all more than we know. For the compliments you receive, think about the greater number of people who notice you and never say a thing. Keeping a blog will definitely help with the sense of invisibility!