Thursday, June 23, 2011

firefly

This has been a really rough year for me professionally. Well, it seems rough, but compared to the majority of the world I am very blessed indeed. Last summer I left a job that paid well but made me unhappy. I loved my coworkers and the clients but something just wasn't right. I  took a pay-cut to do a job that I thought would be great. Turns out that it wasn't quite right either. Even the funders didn't think that it was a job worth doing so the project was dismantled. Finally after 2 months of waiting for new funding I'm working. Sort of. I'm only working part time with always the hint that maybe next week I might be able to work full time.
june 20 2011

I had a friend that did my numerology  and she suggested that I shouldn't make any big changes but I did anyway. And it seems like I keep making mistakes. Or at least choices that don't make me any happier, job-wise. Sometimes my brain can only focus on the things that I've lost rather than the experiences that I've had that have been lovely. I've taken an extraordinary pay-cut which makes me concerned about The Big Trip (more on that at a later date). I've left a beautiful, huge office for not even a desk of my own where I can keep my tea and lotion. I feel like I've gone from being a respected professional to someone who's opinion doesn't count because I'm only there part time anyway. And I'm complaining and I dislike it. I guess I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with life now and let go of worry. And I'm also really afraid that I'm the kind of person who is always discontented. Any hints or advice on how not to be that girl?
blazer, lacy top, jeans: Ricki's
belt: Silpada
watches & flower pin: were my Grandmothers
necklace: gift, from Spain
shoes: Madden Girl from Maurice's
silly face: emotional instability



None of them work. I still don't know what time it is
Anyways, I'll be back to being bright and shiny tomorrow...

Me and my little sister
Today I'm thankful that I don't have to work until 10:30. There is a bright side to part time.




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10 comments:

Katie, Interrobangs Anonymous said...

Maybe we need to form a commiseration club. I was in a job I loved, forced to leave because of budget cuts, and I keep getting "this close" to landing another gig and then not. But solider on, little tiger (and mix your metaphors) - we'll get through this.

Chelsea said...

Girl, you look like such a bad ass in this outfit. A smiling, colorful, BAD ASS! I love it.

As for your jobs/career/what have you... you are not one to be discontented no matter what. The energy you give off just isn't that girl. You're young and you haven't found your niche yet... and that's okay. You WILL get there! There is no timer ticking away until it's too late... each new job and experience will give you more to offer that beautiful and smile-inducing career that you are on your way to. Srsly.

At 28 I'm on my fourth job since graduating college in 2005, and it's the first one where I am not an assistant. But it took awhile and I had to be patient with myself. And all those years of admin experience help to make me the bomb at my current job (and honestly led me in this direction, with some creativity on my part) and also helped me to be truly grateful to the peeps who help me out on the regular admin-wise.

And this job won't be forever, and sometimes it's annoying, but it's going in the right direction.

Good things are ahead for you, my dear. Great things, in fact!

LyddieGal said...

I know how you feel. I'm working part time and I know I need to find something full time, but I can't stand the idea of 40+ hours in a windowless office. Of course I have no idea what i'd want to do, I don't even have a dream job to aspire to or try to work to.
I feel like i've been lost forever and I wonder when I'll stop getting by and find something i love.

hillary said...

no big pearls of wisdom because I am in a similar boat. No big pay cut. But I fear I would have to. 5 years ago I left a "good" job that swallowed my soul and i had 2 awful jobs then i got the one here which is almost ideantical to the first one I left. No one cares what I have to say and I am just spinning my wheels. I do think though that if you aren't happy at least make more money or take a pay cut if you are happier? no need to be broke AND miserable.

I also look at working just as trading time for money. I don't have a career though. My husband has a career and he loves it so I talk him into fighting for things more. Making people hear him.

Yvonne said...

I know it's rough but I think you just need to keep in mind that it is temporary and good things come to those that wait, but also those that reach towards the things they want. It may feel like you are spinning your wheels. This feeling of discontent may change when you try and recognize what it is that you do want. You say you only have ever wanted to be happy, so ask yourself what are the things that will make you happy and how do you move towards the direction of that happiness?

A quote I once read was "Sometimes in our pursuit of happiness we need to just stop and be happy" You are moving in the right direction you just need to recognize the things that do make you happy. In the meantime try to enjoy the chaos, let go, grasp loosely, release firmly, because something good is going to come out of it. You just have to stick with it. I wish I could show you the path but then you wouldn't be able to have the adventure.

Melissa said...

First of all, you look adorable as you ALWAYS do.

Second of all, cut yourself some slack. You DO make an effort to be positive every single day and you're allowed to feel some resentment and discontent every now and then. It's okay. Discontent is what spurs us on to improvement.

That being said...if you can fix it, fix it. If you can't, don't dwell on it.

And above all, be who you are whether they respect you or not. You're fabulous. Always.

Allison said...

I'm not sure if this is going to make sense at all, but personally, it has been hard to work at jobs that don't really grab me, you know? I think because what I do for a living is so aligned with how I see the world, my passions and personal values, that if something doesn't quite fit or line up or feel like something I can believe in and get behind, it feels off at best, terrible at worst. I had to try on many hats before I found my niche, and I'm pretty sure I burnt out a couple of times too. In any case, it'll get there.
Also, you look fabulous. I love me some jeans with a jacket.

Cara said...

First of all - I love that you still have your humour: "Silly face: emotional instability"

Second of all - Sometimes there are tough times that have to pass before something better happens. I am certainly not immune to those, but I do find it easier if I've got a plan of what happens next, whether it's a firm plan of: "I will talk to someone on Tuesday about another opportunity" or "I would like to work in a place like that in a couple years".

laura said...

Danielle, I really got touched by this post. I am still in the process of looking for a job, and the market is pretty sucky for me. I'm 26, just got my MA, and I want a job that I deserve. Something that I can be challenged in, respected in, and pays well. Heck, I worked for it. I'm STILL looking for a job.

Part of the still searching part is because, like you, I feel like I'm not content or I don't know where I fit. I think we'll both get there when we've tried a lot more other stuff that we like or not like. I just wish that time would get there sooner :)

♥ laura
the blog of worldly delights

beyourownadventure said...

This is probably one of my favourite outfits that I've seen you in - and I love them all! You look amazing.
I fight against discontentment all the time. The thing that works best for me is to count my blessings & be thankful. I love that you do that in each of your blog posts - it's inspiring.
I also keep lists & make plans all the time - I don't always follow through on all my plans, but it helps to be looking forward & feel like I am making changes.
All the best for you! And Firefly rocks!